In what has to be first place for “Weirdest Tech Support Article Ever” we have Microsoft Help and Support Knowledge Base article 261186: Computer Randomly Plays Classical Music. Apparently, certain Award/Unicore BIOSes from 1997 on and detection circuits, which would alert you that the processor fan was failing the power supply voltages had drifted out of tolerance by playing classical music.
What would they play?
Beethoven’s Fur Elise:
And the Sherman Brothers / Disney’s It’s a Small, Small World:
That’s a pretty funny error message, and shows some good humor by the engineers. Plus, it creates a lot of incentive for the user to get the PC fixed, since who wouldn’t go crazy and take their PC to be repaired if it played “It’s a Small World After All” over and over and over and over and….
Take a look at this rap music video for Microsoft Word. I’d warn you about the lyrics, which are really crass at times, even for a rap song (or a normal amount of crass, just with words that are easier to understand).
Valleywag has a funny list of the ways Microsoft could change Facebook, now that it owns a portion of the company, like bringing poorly defined branding and overly complicated product names to the popular social network. Me, I’m thinking some other ways Microsoft could change Facebook:
New Facebook Group “Bill Gates is a H0TT1E!” all of a sudden gets 1 million members
Facebook gifts, Free Gifts and Naughty Gifts get DRM; now you can only “use” your virtual glass of beer three times in three days
Instead of error pages when applications fail to load, Facebook now displays cryptic page with technical information on a blue background
Facebook immediately announces some killer new features, then proceeds to not deliver them. For 12 years.
Some new Facebook features will only work in Internet Explorer, or on a giant freakin’ touchscreen table
Releases “Poke Server”, a server operating system businesses can install to manage their pokes from a central location. Pokes can be synced accross devices, accessed remotely, and are properly archived to comply with Sarbanes-Oxley.
Facebook split into two tiers, one of which is called Facebook Silver and can send Pokes, add friends and buy Gifts, and Facebook Gold, which can send Facebook messages, install applications and have online gaming. All Facebook users are assigned a “FacerScore”, based on how social they are, earning Facebook Achievements such as “First poke from a member of the opposite sex” and “Updated Relationship Status more than three times a week”.
Bill Gates announces he has installed the “Causes” application and will be shifting all of his charity work over to it.
Early betas of new Facebook features are given to those with MSDN subscriptions, but are leaked to Bit Torrent. All Facebook applications now require product keys.
Facebook attempts to beat down MySpace by adding useless attention-seeking features like “Channels” and “Active Desktop”, as well as bundling special Facebook friends with a new copy of Windows.
Hackers swarm on Facebook and try to overload it with viruses and spyware.
The European Commission immediately swoops in and demands Facebook give away all its source code and networking protocols to its competitors.
I actually do wish Microsoft and Facebook engineers would start coming up with cool ways to integrate Microsoft products with Facebook. The smart thing would be to tie in Facebook integration to MS products using public APIs, giving Microsoft some nice integration that any other company could also choose to use with their products. Microsoft pushes great integration, but doesn’t lock anyone else out. Could it happen?
Check out this funny website marketing that explains why you should want to work at Microsoft. It’s worth your time, as the videos are quite entertaining.
(via Heather)
Microsoft sponsored the number 40 car driven by David Stremme at the Dover 400, giving it a nice Halo 3 paint scheme. Problem is, the car suffered mechanical failure, blowing its engine on the 306th lap, something that’s happened six times this year to Stremme. Meanwhile, the Wii car almost won the race, finishing second.
At least Halo 3 itself was successful, but you have to appreciate the irony. Something Xbox 360-related suffering mechanical failure? Who’s shocked?
From Mimoco, these Master Chief USB drives come in 1, 2 and 4 gigabyte sizes, for $50, $70, and $110 respectively, and you can get them in blue, red or traditional Master Chief gray. The gray is part of a 5,000 unit limited run, while the red and blue will be 3,000 units apiece. Buy them here.
(via Engadget)
Then there’s this Halo 3 Flash cartoon, about three guys running to get their copy on launch day. Pretty funny. Hit “1″ just as it starts, or you won’t get the English subtitles.
(via Digg)
Then there’s this statue of John P. Harvard, which some MIT pranksters dressed as Master Chief. Beautiful.
(via Joystiq)
If you’re avoiding spoilers, but still like thinking about how Halo could end, check out this list of the “top” five ways the Halo trilogy could end. Don’t worry, all of them are so outlandish that they couldn’t possibly be true (unless Microsoft really did hire Will Smith and Ellen Degeneres to voice the final scene).
A terrible tragedy has befallen the Microsoft campus. Some fiend has absconded with the Muffin truck! According to MMTyler, someone robbed the Muffin Man and stole his Muffin Truck, leaving Microsoft with no muffins, no muffins at all. And on someone’s birthday! How terribly terrible.
(via Raymond Chen)
Microsofties were heard singing:
Do you know the Muffin Man?
The Muffin Man,
The Muffin Man.
Do you know the Muffin Man,
Did you rob him?
You son of a bitch!
Give me back my muffins!
One of Raymond’s commenters had the best title for this story:
Kotaku posted this hilarious video of a guy in a Master Chief outfit scaring the hell out of some South Korea mall shoppers. He stands perfectly still, and then — !
I don’t know, doesn’t the device on the left look like it could be a prototype of an actual oPhone?
According to Engadget, the mi VDOFx DV Cam is designed to be the perfect camera for YouTube auteurs, letting you take some quick video to an SD card, edit it and add special effects on the camera, and even sideload in music from your MP3 player while recording video (all with a 1.5-inch screen). If it’s cheap enough, it might not even be that bad an idea.
Check this out: iWhack, a game where you play Whack-A-Mole with Steve Ballmer. The game is designed for touchscreens, specifically the exact dimensions of the iPhone, though it should work quite well on Windows Mobile. How many Ballmers can you smack down?
(via iPhone Matters > CEOsmack > Digg)