InsideMicrosoft

The Microsoft Apprentice: Week 1

Here’s my week one Apprentice recap, starring Microsoft’s own Verna.

First segment: Trump introduces the show, contestants meet him, he explains that they’re splitting into groups of those who have college degrees and those who don’t. Then they go back to the apartment and split up, to name their teams. The first time Verna spoke, it was privately to the camera, and she said the high school grads, who Trump mentioned make three times what she does, should watch out, because she’s moving up.

Second segment: While the team is discussing names, they show Verna making fun of Danny, saying the first thing’s out of his mouth were “Let’s think up a team motto” and team spirit. She clearly doesn’t like him. I mean, Microsoft is more laid back than most corporations, but I agree, Danny is just weird. Oddly, the book smarts team seem to be having more fun, probably because young companies (like Google and Microsoft) tend to be more fun, while entrepenuers tend to be all business, since it all winds up on their head. The book smarts picked Magna, as in Cum Laude, while the street smarts picked Net Worth, as in we’ve got more money. When Trump asks Magna if they’d be embaressed if the high school grads beat them, she piped up, “I’d be embarrassed if anyone kicked my ass”, and Trump said that was a good answer. The task given the teams: sell burgers at Burger King.

Third Segment: Magna went down to scout out Burger King. The object is to make the best marketing campaign for the new Angus Burger. Danny said something about Verna liking burgers (I missed that part). Verna was put on the register. I can’t imagine her thinking she’d go from a respected job at world-class Microsoft to selling burgers at Burger King, but that’s the Apprentice for you. She criticized Erin for not knowing anything about fast food, not being able to relate to the customers. Their project manager just sat around crunching numbers while everyone else worked and learned about the business (like many corporate bosses). The other team has a big promotion giving away two plane tickets to Vegas.

Fourth segment: Weirdo Danny seems totally unprepared, talking to the VP at Burger King. He wound up looking bad, then unilaterally changing the campaign the VP had been okay with. Project Manager Todd calls Danny and is pushing for deadlines, showing his corporate non-attitude right there. Then a dog pees on someone from the other team. Seriously, swear to god. While Todd seems like a stodgy corporate fellow, he fits the mold of the two previous Apprentice winners. Still, he may not survive the episode…

Fifth segment: Magna’s strategy seems to be to stand around and clap whenever someone buys an Angus burger. Meanwhile, Danny has come up with the stupidest promotion to draw people into the store, playing his guitar while telling people to throw ping pong balls into a hole (I don’t get it). At least Verna can’t be blamed for blowing this one (and it sure looks like Magna is blowing it). She seems for the most part poised behind the register, while Erin keeps screwing up with the register. They don’t have enough cashiers, which is creating a problem and pissing off customers.

Sixth segment: Net Worth won (not surprisingly). Their reward sends them to the 21 Club. They start showing their lack of corporate experience, cursing and joking a little off-color in front of the Donald, and I’m not sure how comfortable he was with it. Magna, back at the suite, looks like they’ll be putting all the blame on marketing, i.e. Danny.

Seventh segment: Alex starts getting pissed at Danny, who intends to bring him into the final showdown with Trump. Danny is deluded, saying that “the marketing team succeeded”. I don’t define losing as succeeding. Erin starts crying about having a say in firing someone (definitely not a management person). They go into the boardroom. Carolyn said it was the “worst promotion” she’d ever seen. Trump asked Verna if Danny is at a disadvantage with his clothes, and I believe she agreed. Then he asked her who she would fire, and she said Danny, because his marketing promotion wasn’t effective enough. Todd picks Alex and Danny to come back with him into the boardroom, as expected, so we’ll get to keep doing this at least another week.

Eighth segment: Out of nowhere, Alex starts getting skewered in the boardroom because he only trained two people on the registers. Meanwhile, Todd gets blamed for Danny. While Trump calls Danny a “disaster”, he says he has to fire Todd for not leading Danny and Alex and making sure they didn’t screw this up. Surprising, but probably the right call. Trump said he was a “terrible leader”.

Credits: Next week’s teaser show’s little of Verna. The task will involve fixing up a rundown motel. Also, a contestant will quit (Erin?). In the taxi, Todd wishes everyone luck.

So, what do I think? Verna is looking like she has legs in this competition. I expect her to make it at least halfway through the competition. The Magna team has more of that young, dotcom spirit when not working, but are a bit conservative when working (except Danny). Meanwhile, Net Worth is a bit more like the previous Apprentice contestants, more go-getters willing to take risks, but are just embarrassing outside the office, having no clue about corporate ettiquette. I think seperating business people from entrepenuers is a disaster. You need the go-getters with the managers, instead you have two teams, one with all the go-getters and no one to keep them in check, and one with all the managers and little vision. Don’t be surprised if Magna loses a lot of early competitions, but Verna is one of the last two left from the team. She seems to have a lot more spirit than the rest of her team (save “Disaster” Danny), and that should keep her in the running for a while.

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Microsoft Employee On The Apprentice

January 20th, 2005 Posted by Nathan Weinberg | General | 12 comments